Making Meetings Matter

Ever since Dick Clark helped us ring in the new year, I feel like all I've done is go to meetings -- mostly for our son, Andrew. Meeting to discuss how the end of Andrew's first semester is going. Meeting to determine what needs to be changed to make second semester most successful. Meeting to identify and plan what transition work we must undertake to prepare for Andrew's life after high school. And then there are all those "informal" meetings to obsess over how can we integrate medical needs with academic and social ones. Plus meetings with doctors, therapists, wheelchair manufacturers. And of course meetings to ensure this teenager still gets to have fun. Stop the insanity!

But it's not insane to utilize resources and get the best thinking on important topics that affect our kids' lives. And meetings are a great way to do this, even if they come in abundance at the start of the new year. You can avoid having unproductive meetings, though, especially as they relate to your special needs child. Here are some good tips that have served us well over the years:

1. Prepare, distribute and adhere to an agenda. Tell meeting participants what you expect to accomplish by the end of your time together so everyone knows what the end goal is. This goes for school staff, medical professionals and anyone else on your child's "team." Everyone is busy, and people should appreciate the clarity and planning.

2. Get the right people in the room. Make sure meeting participants have the authority to make decisions so you can actually make progress in your meeting, not just develop a list of questions and needs coming out of it. This is especially important for school meetings, where some administrators are more powerful than others. Get persons invited who can approve requests then and there so you don't waste time waiting for responses from "the powers that be." With regard to doctors, it's often possible to convene a team of experts so you can weigh different opinions at the same time. Sometimes, all you have to do is ask.

3. Assign a time-keeper and note taker. These are vital roles and people should be pleased to be asked to perform them. The time-keeper can help everyone stay on track with the agenda. The note-taker can ensure everyone is on the same page in terms of understanding the meeting discussion and next steps. Parents and teachers should listen to the conversation and process the information as a priority, so I recommend they refrain from filling these roles, ideally. Wonderful friends and neighbors have accompanied us to hospital appointments and served as a second set of ears with pen in hand, simply so I wouldn't have to. What a gift.

4. Hire an advocate. Many parents are finding that a paid advocate helps them navigate the myriad of special education issues they face with school-aged children. We're among those lucky folks who have found an advocate that knows what questions to ask, who to ask them of and how to get answers quickly on vital and sometimes sensitive issues related to our child. She certainly knows more about this area than we do, and she helps direct us and facilitate progress with the school district. It's a win-win-win situation (since Andrew wins, too).

5. Remember your priorities. Even with super-human powers, we can never accomplish all we need or want to in one meeting (alas, I am not perfect!). Reminding myself that we're working to optimize Andrew's potential, enabling him to become the independent young man we know he's capable of being, and creating stimulating, enriching and fun-loving environments in which he can grow and thrive is what's most important.

Based on that job description, I think I need to schedule another meeting!